I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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