When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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