It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
