I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
