Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
