am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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