So drunk its hurt
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
