im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
