There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i came on her dog
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
