Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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