Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
