i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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