Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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