Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Congratulations! We have a period
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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