he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
thus making me awesome and them whores
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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