There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
