Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
