I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Naked Twister starts at high noon
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
