i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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