I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
