and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
