i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
