Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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