dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
