somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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