Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.

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(845): View more from New York

I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.

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(+39): View more from

my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.

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(631): View more from New York

we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

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(518): View more from New York

I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Lets trade lives

(931): View more from Tennessee

And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears

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(317): View more from Indiana

He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...

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