K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
