Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
