You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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