We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
