By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
