question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
