I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
