i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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