Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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