it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
