I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
