Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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