I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
