Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
