I don't usually arrange sex via text message
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
