hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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