I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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