So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
