But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
