We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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