end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
