Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
