i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
