Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
