Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
